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Imagine you’ve met someone special. You like her sense of humor, her good looks, her great personality but lately you’ve started to wonder: does she really respect me as an individual? Respect can be a difficult thing to find in any romantic relationship. But without it those relationships can become toxic and unhealthy. Among partners, genuine respect is fundamental to the trust you build and the expectations you set for each other and your relationship. Often times, it’s trust and respect that separates simple infatuation from a deeper, more meaningful bond. Even though respect is essential to any healthy relationship, many partners fail to give each other the respect every person deserves. In the past, you may have encountered toxic partners – people who did not respect you as a person with needs, dreams, and desires. This person may have belittled your feelings and criticized your insecurities. They may have discounted your personal values and taken advantage of your generosity. Each of these toxic behaviors demonstrates an issue that lies at the heart of so many dysfunctional and emotionally abusive relationships.
You and your partner may struggle to develop trust or show appreciation for each other, because deep down your partner doesn’t actually respect you. Unfortunately, many partners hide these feelings from each other. Your partner may never say out loud that she doesn’t respect you, but if you look closely at her behavior you may discover a pattern of inequality and careless behavior. It’s possible she values her needs or resources far more than yours. Maybe she acts like the relationship revolves entirely around her. But unless you know what to look for you may never recognize the true meaning behind these patterns of toxicity and disrespect. So, what signs reveal your partner’s true feelings? What habits and behaviors allow you to identify whether someone genuinely respects you as an individual? If she does respect you, your relationship may have potential to grow and develop. If not, it may be time to make a change. To help you figure out how your partner really feels about you, here are 10 signs that someone in your life doesn’t respect you any longer.
1] Shutting You Out
Is your partner a good listener? She’s always willing to discuss her emotions, desires, and personal goals. But when you want to share something, she doesn’t listen to a word you say. If your partner does not respect you, she may believe your entire relationship revolves around her. She fails to acknowledge your thoughts and feelings, because she dedicates all of her attention to her own needs. Maybe she talks over you or dismisses your opinions. Or maybe she completely shuts you out of the conversation. Either way, she isn’t willing to listen, because she doesn’t respect you as much as you think.
2] The Silent Treatment
When you do or say something wrong, your partner may punish you by remaining silent for hours or days at a time. They refuse to return your calls or even acknowledge your presence – a common relationship tactic called the silent treatment. While many people use the silent treatment once or twice with no ill-intentions, frequent usage may be a sign that your partner doesn’t respect you anymore. To put it simply, the silent treatment is a form of manipulation. Your partner refuses to communicate with you until they get what they want. They won’t talk about their problems or express their feelings. And they aren’t willing to hear your side of the story. Instead, they’ll ignore you until they get their way, regardless of how you really feel.
3] Invalidating Your Emotions
Does your partner tell you how you’re supposed to feel? Your partner may devalue your emotions, as if your feelings are misplaced or incorrect. They want you to feel a certain way. When you don’t they act like you are doing something wrong. Let’s say your girlfriend makes a joke that you find disrespectful or insulting. She might think it’s funny, but you don’t. When you tell her that your feelings are hurt, she doesn’t apologize or try to understand your feelings. Instead, she makes you feel ashamed of your genuine feelings. This behavior is all too common in unbalanced and disrespectful relationships. One partner thinks they know better than the other, but that’s not how loving partners treat each other. Respecting your partner means taking their thoughts and feelings seriously. It means validating their emotions and making an effort to understand why they feel the way they do. If your partner frequently pushes your feelings aside, they may not love or respect you the way they should.
4] Obsessing Over Your Flaws
In a relationship, partners see your quirks flaws, and shortcomings on full display. They knew your weaknesses and vulnerabilities. They know where you struggle and when you feel insecure. In a healthy relationship, this creates a strong emotional bond. But a disrespectful partner may use your flaws against you For example, your partner may try to fix the things they don’t like about you, and they get angry when you struggle to grow or change You may feel like you’re doing something wrong by simply being yourself. Unfortunately, their criticisms can gradually destroy your self-esteem and create new insecurities. But their obsession with your flaws is a reflection of their own insecurities, not your weaknesses as a person, a loving and respectful partner treats your strengths and weaknesses as equal parts of who you are. They admire you for your talents, but they also know that you are a flawed human being like anyone else. Often, our flaws are what make us unique. Anyone who thinks otherwise isn’t giving you the respect every person deserves.
5] Abusing Your Resources
Does your partner act like you’re made of money? Does she demand all of your time and energy, even though you have a dozen other responsibilities on your plate? If your partner doesn’t respect you, they may abuse your resources and take advantage of your generosity. Maybe they ask you to pay for every meal or expect to receive expensive gifts. They demand you drop everything whenever they need you, and they refuse to see the value in your work, your hobbies, or your goals. A disrespectful partner will waste your time and flush your money down the drain. They expect you to sacrifice everything for them, because they don’t value your resources as much as they value their own.
6] Overstepping Boundaries
Have you ever asked your partner for a little time alone? Sometimes, you want to enjoy a few hours of solitude, but your partner refuses to give you the space you want or need. They won’t take no for an answer, and they make you feel guilty for asking for more personal space. But there’s nothing wrong with setting healthy boundaries in a relationship Even though you love your partner, you deserve time and space to be an individual. As long as you communicate your honest feelings, respecting each other’s boundaries will grow your relationship in a healthy and positive direction.
7] Disrespecting Your Opinions
Does your partner dismiss your opinions or criticize your values? A disrespectful partner tries to correct your views of the world. They believe it’s their responsibility to teach you how to do things correctly. In their mind, your perspective is flawed, invalid, or wrong in some way. It’s possible she thinks of herself as a smarter, wiser, and more self-aware person. She assumes you’re wrong without considering your opinions, because your partner doesn’t respect you as her equal.
8] Verbal Attacks
When your partner gets angry, does she attack your character or insult your lifestyle? Does she weaponize her words, as if she’s more interested in hurting your feelings than resolving the argument? Any partner who verbally attacks you does not respect you or your choices. Most of the time, they may hide how they feel, but true feelings come out each time their temper gets the best of them. To make matters worse, your partner may never apologize for the disrespectful things they say. For example, she may criticize you for overreacting or being too sensitive. She may act like she did nothing wrong, but verbal insults are never something you should brush under the rug. If your partner calls you names, disparages your character, and attacks your lifestyle, they may not respect you anymore but you deserve better.
9] Inconsiderate Habits
If your partner doesn’t respect you, she may take on new, frustrating habits that demonstrate her lack of consideration for you or your resources. She may leave her dirty dishes piled in the sink or blast the television when you’re trying to sleep. She may talk badly about you or your friends, even though you can hear everything she’s saying. In other words, she doesn’t think about how her actions impact you. She’s not interested in sharing your burdens or relieving your stress. In fact, she makes a habit of treading on your feelings. Why? Because she does not respect you the way she should.
10] Destroying Your Self-Esteem
Does your partner make you feel small? If she doesn’t respect you anymore, your partner may try to shift the power dynamic in your relationship Instead of treating you like her equal, she may make you feel like a bad person, calling you lazy, irresponsible, or toxic anything that damages your self-esteem. A disrespectful partner brings you down in order to raise herself up. She steps on you to raise her own confidence but this is neither healthy nor respectful in any romantic relationship. Respectful partners will raise you up, celebrate your successes, and bolster your self-esteem. They want you to believe in yourself because they genuinely want you to find happiness and success in your life. A loving partner shows respect by empowering your confidence and encouraging your growth If she doesn’t want those things for you, it may be time to find someone who does.